7. Her Attitude & Deeds

n. Supplement Family Income

Proverbs 31:24 (NIV) “She makes linen garments and sells them and supplies the merchants with sashes.” Proverbs reverts to describing the virtuous woman. She contributes to the household expenses by holding a job (“making garments and sell”). She is able to help her husband increase the family’s income through her extra sewing at home (in today’s context, “holding a paid job, whether part-time or full-time”). Her trading (earning the extra income) is not carried out at the expense of her household responsibility; it is important but not her top priority. Her trading is carried out without neglect to the needs of her household.   

o. Strength of Character

Proverbs 31:25 (NIV) “She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.”

• Strength of character is virtuous woman’s clothing, that is, she is not easily shattered, moved or tossed about by circumstances. This strength of character keeps her stable, and her household in good shape.
• Dignity is also her clothing – she is composed in situations, even when provoked, as she is assured of her position and station in life, and she is contended with her lot.
• Joyous – With strength and dignity in character, the virtuous woman could be joyous, even during the time of adversities – Proverbs 31:25b (NIV) “She can laugh at the days to come.” She knows the right thing to do this gives her a certain calmness and strength to bear with difficulties. Her joy remains with her “the days to come,” that is, her joy is not a fleeting emotion in her life that is dependent on her life situation or station. It is a stable constant part and throughout her life.  

p. Speech of Wisdom

Proverbs 31:26 (KJV) “She openeth her mouth (speak) with wisdom, and in her tongue is the law of kindness.” Verse 26 switches the focus from the deeds of the virtuous woman to her speech.

She is not only thrifty, industrious, forward-looking woman who looks well after her household but also her speech is filled with wisdom and kindness. Wisdom and kindness in her speech is not just an occasional flash but the hall mark of her life.

As the source of wisdom is God and His Word, her wise words show that she loves God’s Word, is knowledgeable of God’s Word and has allowed God’s Word to work in her life affecting her speech – Colossians 4:6 (KJV) “Let your speech be always with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man.” Her speech shows her spiritual maturity. She is not the person to engage in foolish talks. Her speech shows her godliness and a heart that is in tune with her God.

In all her communication, she regulates her tongue with the law or teaching of kindness as found in God’s Word. She does not allow herself to speak any evil or untruths about any person, by controlling her tongue. Kind words, loving words, encouraging words, words of comfort, words that heal the wounded and the hurting were dispensed from her mouth. She is not harsh with her words, gossipy or slanderous, causing disharmony in or outside the home. Even when she has to discipline, chide or rebuke, the law of kindness guides her words. The words of her mouth are testimonies of the law of kindness in her heart.  

Proverbs 31:26 implies that the virtuous woman is a woman of few words – Proverbs 10:19 (NIV) “When words are many, sin is not absent, but he (she) who holds his tongue is wise.”

q. Well-Organised Home

Proverbs 31:27 (NIV) “She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.” The virtuous woman manages over the affairs of her household with care, with their interests always before her, for example, she is aware of her husband’s needs and meets them because she “looks well” to his ways. She responds to her children with words and deeds of encouragement or correction as and when the occasion calls for it. She relates to her servants to ensure that work is done and at the same time that their needs are also met.

She is not the woman that “eats the bread of idleness” (Proverbs 31:27b). She is not a woman to while away her time by idle talks or idle activities. She spends her time serving her household members and ministering to their needs, with the best of her ability – “She watches over the affairs of her household” (Proverbs 31:27a) – The needs of her family are her priority and main concern of her life, not even her work to supplement the family income (Proverbs 31:24). She is single-minded in this aspect!  

r. Appreciative & Praise

Proverbs 31:28 (NIV) “Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her.” The result of her dedication to her family is seen in her family’s appreciation:

• Children – Her children, called her “blessed” – They appreciated her tender care and discipline. This is a great testimony of godly motherhood. The children are appreciative of their mother’s labour of love. Children who are appreciative of mother’s love are usually also appreciative of God’s love. Her children turned out to be filial and godly ones. On the other hand, ungrateful always leads to unholy (2Timothy 3:2).
• Husband – Her husband praises her is a demonstration of his pride of her as his wife and mother of his children. Speaking well of his wife indicates his love and appreciation as well as approval of all that she had done and is doing. Her husband has in his wife all that any man can desire in a wife!
• The word “arise” carries with it the idea of reverence, respect or honour as one would arise from one’s seat when a person of honour enters. Her husband and children bless her in such a reverential or respectful manner, that her lifelong devotion to them bears fruit by the testimonies of her loved ones!!

s. Excel Above All

Proverbs 31:29 (NIV) “Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.” The switch to the second personal pronoun indicates that Proverbs 31:29 is the continuation of appreciation and praise of the virtuous woman, she stands above many women in her godly character, deeds, family devotion and self-sacrifices that are described in Proverbs 31:10-28.

The term “surpass them all” indicates that her courage, energy, and the ability that goes beyond the mere ability to do or accomplish things. It is the ability that includes soundness of her moral judgement, which is reflected in her daily decision-making, devotion to her family in all aspects of her life. 

t. Reverence (Fear) God

Proverbs 31:30 (NIV) “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.” The switch back to the third personal pronoun as seen in “she shall be praised” (KJV) indicates that her virtuous character, deeds, family devotion and self-sacrifices are seen and praised by those outside her household. Thus, not only her family recognises her virtues but others as well.

• Proverbs 31:30 does not denounce personal charm and physical beauty but rather points out that personal charm and physical beauty are great to have in a woman, but they are insufficient to make a woman virtuous.
• By her personal charm, a woman is able to set forth an impression of herself, but it will not hold up over time and under pressure of real life. Thus, charm is “deceptive” = “Without foundation in fact or reality.”
• Physical beauty is good, but it will not last because a woman grows old. Thus, physical beauty is “vain” (KJV), literally means “breath,” “vapour,” or “fleeting” (NIV), it is here today and gone tomorrow.
• It is the Reverence (Fear) of God that motivates the character, life, and work of the virtuous (excellent, noble) woman. She lives in accordance to God’s Word. The emphasis on the Reverential Fear of the LORD (Proverbs 1:7) at the beginning of the Book of Proverbs, and here, at the end.
• Matthew Henry describes it as “the Fear of God reigning in the heart is the beauty of the soul” (Matthew Henry, “Commentary of the Whole Bible”). The truly God-Fearing Heart behind the woman’s exterior is the true measure of her worth. It is her spiritual attributes which give her strength and beauty in her personality.
• The Book of Proverbs begins with “the Fear of the LORD” (Proverbs 1:7) and ends with the “Fear of the LORD” (Proverbs 31:30).

u. Rewards

Proverbs 31:31 (NIV) “Give her the reward she has earned, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.”  Her virtuous life and works not only bring total confidence from her husband (Proverbs 31:11), respect of the Elders of the land for her husband (Proverbs 31:23), but also praises from her family (Proverbs 31:28) and those outside her household (Proverbs 31:30b – “she shall be praised,” KJV).

Her life and works also bear fruits. Good comes out of her virtuous life, benefitting her family and others. She also enjoys “the fruit of her life and labour” (“the reward she has earned”):   

• In the O.T., it would be unusual in Jewish culture for a woman to be praised “at the city gate” for her works (Proverbs 31:31b), but she is no ordinary woman but a virtuous woman of substance – “A kind-hearted woman gains respect” (Proverbs 11:16a, NIV). In Proverbs 31:23 we are reminded of her husband at the city gate. 
• Her life itself is a testimony of her godliness and she does not have to exalt herself of her virtues. She receives public recognition and acknowledgement for her character and deeds.
• The Book of Proverbs opens with “Woman Wisdom” raising her voice “At the head of the noisy streets…….At the entrance of the gates in the city” (Proverbs 1:21). As the Book of Proverbs closes, she has found a hearing, has been embraced, and is now being “praised at the city gate” (Proverbs 31:31b).
• Ruth reflects the qualities of the virtuous woman of Proverbs 31:10-31, as Boaz says: “And now, my daughter, do not fear, I will do for you whatever you ask, for all my people in the city know that you are a woman of excellence” (Ruth 3:11).
• The wise person was introduced to the “Woman Wisdom” in Proverbs chapters 1-9, and now, he has wedded her (Proverbs 31:10-31). He has rejected the adulteress and harlot (Proverbs 2:16-19; 5:1-6; 7:1-23) and has found delight in a woman of true integrity and substance, the virtuous wife of Proverbs 31:10-31!

SUMMARY

From the above Principles, we can see that the virtuous woman does not only accept her husband’s leadership, but also affirms his leadership through her attitudes and deeds. Her submission to her husband is a heart attitude rather than the mere following of a list of dos and don’ts. Her right heart attitude leads her to decide as to what actions or responses are considered appropriate in different situations and in different cultural context – Proverbs 31:10 (NIV) “A wife of noble (virtuous, excellent) character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies!”

6. Wife’s Attitude

Proverbs 31:12 (NIV) “She brings him good not harm, all the days of her life.” The trust (full confidence) of her husband has placed in her (Proverbs 31:11) is, at first, a gift and then, a reward, because, time and again, she provides “good” for him. This “good” is not only relational but is viewed in terms of what she accomplishes for her husband:

• Despite her far-flung entrepreneurial ways, her focus is upon her home, family, and her husband. She spends her life accomplishing, that is doing and succeeding in doing, what is good for him. She is first “Keeper of the Home” (Proverbs 31:27a) and only secondarily a career woman.  
• She does not abuse her husband’s trust (Proverbs 31:11). She responds to his trust positively. Her concern is not with her own self; how best she can fulfil her own needs or satisfy her own desires. Her role and responsibility are that of doing him good and not evil, living in submission, not passively but actively seeking to fulfil his desires and to meet his needs for good.
• “All the days of her life” (Proverbs 31:12b) implies that she does well to her husband consistently, constantly and faithfully. It is not dependent on her emotional state or on her husband’s. It requires her to have a heart attitude of love and understanding in order for her to be able to “do him good……all the days of her life.” Without that proper heart attitude, she will not be able to sustain her effort.
• Her right heart attitude allows her to derive from it the strength and consistency to accomplish that which is good for her husband. This requires her to be a woman of perception, anticipation, thought, initiatives, and wisdom.

7. Her Attitude & Deeds

What is considered “good,” follows in the next few verses (Proverbs 31:13-27) – are descriptions of the good that this virtuous wife does for her husband:

a. Thrifty

Proverbs 31:13 (NIV) “She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands.” The Jews used sheep’s wool as the chief material for making clothes for winter. Flax, which is harvested in March and April, is used to make linen cloth and rope:

• This virtuous wife is on the lookout for these raw materials not that they are difficult to find but that she looks out for the quality and best buy because the word “seek” (KJV) does not denote the outward action of seeking but the seeking that comes from a purposeful mind focused on the intention of find the best quality at the best price. This is an indication of her diligence and her desire to do a good job. She is not a miser, neither is she careless with her money.
• Then she works on the wool and flax with her hands willingly – “with delight and pleasure” (literal translation). Her work to her is a delight or pleasure, not done grudgingly or considered a chore. Such a work attitude is a good indicator of results of high quality. 
• Proverbs 31:13 paints the picture of a wife who is frugal (thrifty), industrious and happy with what she is doing. She is not careless with her money and she is not afraid of hard work, going about her home cheerfully and happily, not grudgingly or in a complaining manner. 
• Much of the material of wool and flax will be used to clothe her family (Proverbs 31:21), but some of the materials will be personal use (Proverbs 31:22b), and still others will be sold for a profit (Proverbs 31:24). She is industrious, conscientious, and unselfish in her labours of love.
• Charles Bridges (“Proverbs,” 623) points out that working with one’s hands “in olden times was the employment of females in the highest ranks.” He cites the cases of Sarah (Genesis 18:6-8), Rebekah (Genesis 24:18-20), Rachel (Genesis 29:9-10), and the daughters of the Prince of Midian (Exodus 2:16), and the daughter of a King (2Samuel 13:5-9). The point, however, is not the station of the woman or the association of the work involved, but rather the point to be learned is the character traits that are being shown: “the good traits of cheerful industriousness and of thrift.”

b. Resourceful

Proverbs 31:14 (NIV) “She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar.” A merchant’s ship has the capacity to go to a faraway land in order to bring back produce that are cheaper or that are not available in the home country. The virtuous woman is likened to a merchant’s ship in that she goes out of her way, beyond her immediate neighbourhood, to look for items that are “value for money” that her household needs.

This reinforces the teaching of her as a frugal (thrifty) and hardworking woman who cares so much for her household that she is willing to take the trouble to do more than expected in order to satisfy the needs of her household. In addition, it shows that she is a woman full of initiatives, courage, and enterprise.

c. Good House Manager

Proverbs 31:15 (NIV) “She gets up while it is still dark; she provides food for her family and portions for her servant girls.” Not only does the excellent woman carefully, and broadly, shop for her household (Proverbs 31:14), but she takes charge personally of the meal preparation. She gets up early in order to prepare breakfasts as well as food for the rest of the day for her household and her servant girls.

• It seems odd, in modern day context and to some that a woman wealthy enough to afford household servants is up early, preparing food. However, she views having servants not as license for personal ease, but as a gift demanding personal responsibility. We all would do well to learn from her!
• She is seen as a self-sacrificing attitude. She puts the needs of her household and servants above her own need of sleep and rest. She ensures that her family and servants start the day right.
• She has a heart not only for her family but also for her servants – “Portions for her servant girls” (Proverbs 31:15b). The term “portions” are used in two ways:
  • As “portions” of food, the virtuous woman does not mistreat her servants because she gives her servants equal amount of food as to her family. This is an indication of a heart that is just, full of love and care for the people around her regardless of whether they are her family or servants.
  • As “portions” of work, she rises up early to plan her servants’ work for the day. She is an organised and meticulous woman.
• The virtuous woman is not the person to be tardy just because she has servants. She has a strong work ethic and ensures that she can do even more as a result of having household help (servants).
• She is a woman of propriety as the mention, “servant girls” (NIV), “maidens” (KJV). During the Old Testament period, male servants are handled by the husband and female servants by the wife. There is a clear separation. However, in our day, this separation does not exist as a female boss could have responsibility and oversight over both male and female employees.
• Proverbs 31:15 show that it is not wrong to employ household servants when the person has the means to do so. The virtuous woman has certain housework delegated to servants; however, she does not abdicate all her responsibilities. Instead, she uses the servants to allow herself to better fulfil her responsibilities as a wife and mother.  

d. Businesswoman

Proverbs 31:16 (NIV) “She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.” The virtuous woman manages the household finance and investments – buys a piece of land (investment) and there is no mention of her reselling it, indicates that her purchase is for the family’s use:

• Her purchase is not done at the spur of the moment – “considers” before purchase, with much though (discern, plan and strategy) into the matter before purchase. She weighs out not only the wisdom of investing in land, generally, but she also evaluates the worth of the particular field which she is considering. In the end, she is convinced of this financial venture and buys it. This attitude is consistent with Proverbs 31:14 & 15 in that she is frugal (thrifty) and careful with her money. She is not a compulsive and impulsive woman.  
• That this kind of liberty with household finance was not the norm for women of the Ancient Near East only underscores that “the heart of her husband trusts (full confidence) in her” (Proverbs 31:11a). He trusted her enough to let her handle the finance and investments, letting her decide on the purchase of this large expensive item. She must have consistently made good judgements and could be relied upon, her husband safely trusted in her (= full confidence – Verse 11).
• She then decisively turns the land into a vineyard. She plants a vineyard with “the fruit of her hands” – she had laboured and obtained some profit and put it to good use (investment) by purchasing vines and planting them on the land she had purchased. Both the land and the vineyard become an asset to the family.
• In addition to her sound judgement and decisiveness, her work on the vineyard shows that she is hardworking and willing to work with her hands that her household may benefit from her labour.

Stay Tuned….. To be continued