Tag: Friendship

Personal Relationships (Proverbs Chapter 18: 1,22,24) (Part 2)

True Friend

Proverbs 18:24b (NIV) “But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” Having seen the “unfriendliness” in Proverbs 18:1 and “over-friendliness” in Proverbs 18:24a, we now have the “just right friendship” in Proverbs 18:24b “But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.”

  • True Friendship is giving of Oneself unreservedly to the interests of Another. It is unrealistic to attempt this to everyone we are on friendly term with.
  • True Friend is brought together by a combination of circumstances and that mysterious chemistry that creates a bond between two Persons which can be closer than the ties of blood and qualify for the name “brother.”

King David’s brothers virtually disowned him, but Jonathan took up his cause. Jesus was rejected by His Jewish Brothers (John 1:11) but John, “the Disciple Jesus loved,” stayed with Him to the end. True Friendship is more than Affability (Friendliness), it is commitment – Proverbs 17:17 (NIV) “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.”

Marriage (Greatest Friend)

Proverbs 18:22 (NIV) “He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favour from the Lord.” Marriage is the ultimate in Friendship, involving as it does a more formal and public expression of total and life-long commitment than that made to “a friend who becomes a brother” (Proverbs 18:24b).

  • Marriage is one of the Bible’s Finest Commendations of a “Excellent Friendship and Companionship.”
  • God Himself gave Adam a Companion for life by presenting Eve to him (Genesis 2:20b-24).
  • The wife (woman) is one of the “good things” that still remain through “favour (gift) from the LORD.” – God knows how much a man needs the support (“help-mate”), care and sympathy of a Companion.
  • God’s Favour (wife) is not a right, but it is a Gift of Grace (Favour) which has to be sought – We have to “find a wife” because not all women are compatible (well-matched) – Proverbs 11:22 (NIV) “Like a gold ring in a pig’s snout is a beautiful woman who shows no discretion.”
  • Prayer, observation and thought have to go into the matter lest it turn out unhappily as in – Proverbs 19:13 (NIV) “A foolish son is his father’s ruin, and a quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping.” (Proverbs 21:19; Proverbs 25:24; Proverbs 27:15).
  • Husband must show love and tenderness – Colossians 3:19 (NIV) “Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them” (Ephesians 5:25-33; 1Peter 3:7).

Personal Relationships (Proverbs Chapter 18: 1,22,24) (Part 1)

The Statement

Proverbs Chapter 18 has no single theme, but underlying it is the whole subject of the Character and Conduct of the Wise. No Person can get far in life before coming up against the issues touched on in Proverbs Chapter 18: Relationship, Depravity, Words, Fairness, Security. There are some profound observations on these points:

Observation on Personal Relationships:

1. Unfriendliness

Proverbs 18:1 (NIV) “An unfriendly man pursues selfish ends; he defies all sound judgement.” The unfriendly person is “a Loner.” The term “unfriendly” literally means “he who separates himself.” He is Antisocial, he has little time for anyone else because he is “selfish” and pursues “selfish ends,” that is, he has his own ends in view and the company of others interferes with them.

This brings him into conflict with conventional Wisdom – “Sound Judgement” – for in order to justify being different from others he has to criticize and condemn normal thinking and behaviour. The word for “defies” is strong, literally “breaks out,” suggesting that from his ivory tower he issues scornful denunciations of the lives and views of his fellow-citizens. This kind of person is introduced in Proverbs 18:1, as one not to be emulated, for the truth is, not that he is superior to others, but that he cannot form relationships.

2. Over-Friendliness

Proverbs 18:24a (NIV) “A man of many companions may come to ruin.” Proverbs Chapter 18 ended on the subject of Personal Relationships on which it began, but with the complete opposite of the Loner (unfriendly Person – Proverbs 18:1). The meaning of Proverbs 18:24a is a bit obscure but it describes a person who has many Friends, that is, he is a Good Mixer who treats all alike and is “every man’s friend.” There is no depth in relationship.

At first glance, this great Socialiser seems the ideal, yet we are told he “may come to ruin,” because in adversity he had no one to whom he is close enough to command his loyalty, no one such as the part two of Proverbs 18:24b (NIV) “But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” It is possible to have so many friends that we have no real friends!

To be continued…… Stay Tuned.